Collaboration with Blogger The Ad critic

It was very heartwarming to come across this Johnny Walker commercial. I am certain there were many risk ( backlash and products boycott) in producing and airing a commercial with a homosexual theme.

What I appreciated about this advertisement, it was tastefully done, there was no eroticizing of the women. The traditional, classy setting, the sophistication and convention of a woman being given away by her father on her wedding day, the shared happiness and warmth visible on everyone’s faces takes away for controversial elements. The song playing in the background was the perfect choice "whatever will be, will be."

LBGT representation and imagery in advertisement are still very minimal. Commercials such as these are invisible in mainstream advertising; expect when in the consensus of anti-gay public service announcement whether it be religiously or politically base, the representation of LGBT are often offensive.

This may be what the future of the inclusion of LGBT people in media mediums looks like, apart from the roles of out-casts, punch lines, clichés and fantasizes. A commercial such as this not only opens the door to representation of LGBT members of society it also shows the support of equality and marriage.

Google image....love is love

Answer to the, what's my type question

For me being attracted to a woman is about various attributes; for instance, the way she smiles, laughs, talks, thinks and kisses. I try not to discriminate so my type

Today it can be:-

Google image.. Bette from The L Word power
femme and  favourite character from the television series

Tomorrow my taste might be

Google image Kerry Washington, my celebrity crush
before Scandal was even popular

I am actually laughing writing this. 
Mentally, I created my perfect woman. However it is highly unlikely I’ll even meet exactly what I desire with the right personality. I am not superficial but then sometimes; aren’t we all. But when the question what is your type is asked the superficial answers always comes out sexy, feminine but not to girly, athletic body, smart, not judgmental and ambitious. This pyhsical element is not really necessary but a natural woman with a well kempt dreadlocks is right there at the top of "my type". Anyone who knows me knows I have a weakness for the dreadlocks. 

Google image. Now if I saw her walking the streets
most definitely I will look back as she walks away.

A clean woman, who takes care of herself and someone who’s not a pillow princess and a good kisser; just saying I mentioned kiss before but it's up there on my list too.

Someone light-hearted,  with a sense of humor; sassy with a quick comeback and a bit playful, not aggressive or loud. Sometimes my remarks comes of as snide and are misinterpreted as disrespectful so there is where the sassiness needs to reveal itself. Most of the time I mean no harm. Tell that to my oversensitive ex.

I don’t really need the life of the type but I also do not want a wallflower either; I like a woman who enjoys herself in moderation.  I'm afraid of dogs, big and small so I would appreciate someone who doesn’t make fun of that fact. She must be willing to not rush into things. A woman who loves the beach as I am Aquarius to my heart.  

Finally on my list of my type of woman is, a woman who understands the importance of privacy and not living in her past or caught up on her ex.

In exchange I will bring to the table very corny poetry, and even cornier playlist of songs to describe everything I feel about her and what she means to me, tons of patience, outlandish movies, hot meals and a very committed heart. Since none of these are carved into stone and all this can change, these are answers to the, what’s my type question.

Image taken from Google

 With that being said, sometimes compatibility is not enough so this could be three different people. Okay let me stop before this turns into a public service announcement.

Film festival- Pariah

This weekend, Sunday 12^th April, 2015 the Trinidad and Tobago film festival features Pariah.  The film is part of a series to promote human rights in Trinidad and Tobago, and is being held in association with the Coalition Advocating for Inclusion of Sexual Orientation. There will be panel discussions on LGBT rights and issues before and after the film.

Pariah means an outcast or outsider. 

To me it’s a story that asks the question, how badly do you want to be free?

The main character Akile, a young black lesbian is a true definition of the film title. She has accepted her lesbianism, but is faced with the challenge of finding a place to belong.  This movie takes us through the painful process of being your authentic self and not being guided by the norms of what is perceived as acceptable.

Akile is an outcast both at home and at school, she’s a man trapped inside a female body she disguises herself in boy clubs at the club and at school, but at home she struggles with her femininity to please her mother. Her mother doesn’t agree with her appearance and her friend and worries about keeping the family conservative image.

This movie is the result of what happens when parents knowingly denies their child’s sexuality but it also illustrate the struggle of a parent to get close to their child. The mother efforts were solely to control and deter the inevitable by buying clothes suitable for a teenage girl and choosing Akile’s friend, who did further damage to Akile’s already bruised self esteem by pretending to love and accept Akile.

The father though more tolerant of his daughter’s sexuality; he lets her wear masculine clothes even though her mother disapproves, he calls her “daddy’s girl” the truth is vivid; within himself he has accepted her without an utterance. Nevertheless, he showed some reservation that his daughter's sexuality impacts his image as a man; this is showcased in the scene when the security guard at the store insulted a lesbian and hinted that he saw Akile at a gay club.  

Lingering questions can stifle families before the truth is known. My emotions varied while watching this movie from depression to discomfiture especially in the scene when Akile is confronted by her mother and the wife says to her husband “You are letting your daughter turn into a man” and her father responds, “Tell your mother this is just a phase.”

Although at times the subtleties seemed predictable as situation like these are not uncommon there is honesty and restraint of a teenager that transcends the pitfalls of homosexuality. The final scene on the rooftop gives a sense of freedom and hope because it expresses that there is the beginning acceptance of her self. No one wants to feel like they are the “other” in society. It is human nature to want to belong somewhere.

When Akile says to her father, “I’m not running, I’m choosing.”

It’s a choice to find her place to belong.

Television series-Tipping The Velvet

Image taken from Google

Tipping the velvet is a three part television series adapted from the book of the same name written by Sarah Walters in 1998. The topics covered in the series are sexual identity, class and gender which leads to self-discovery. It is filled with sexual contents and innuendos. The series is told in first person narrative of the life of Nan.

Unfortunately, I have not read the book; usually the book is better than cinematic adaption.

Tipping the Velvet is set in Victorian England and tells the story of Nan, a woman who fell in love with a male impersonator, Kitty Butler who performs at a local theatre. In Kitty’s act one lucky female receives a rose and Nan always goes with the hope that she will be the fortunate one of obtaining one of Kitty’s roses. Kitty realizes that Nan is at all of her show and final presents her with a rose.

The two women started a friendship. Kitty gets an opportunity to perform in London for better exposure and asked Nan to join her.  Nan left her family to be Kitty’s dresser. Their relationship was sisterly to Nan had a strong desire for Kitty. 
 After a fallout with her lover, she admitted to Nan that she had feelings for her but their relationship must remain a secret. Kitty’s manager suggested Nan and Kitty should partner on stage where they posted as brothers. Their ability to impersonate men made them famous.

The blur between masculinity and femininity is contextual and understandable as Nan is comfortable as a man even in her personal life. The gender confusion and identity led Nan towards the boyish side. Kitty appreciated her self expression but also fear it.

Being a young girl, Nan eventually began missing her family and returned home.  But on her arrival back to England she found Kitty in bed with Walter (her manager) and they announced that they are getting married and the act is over. Kitty fear of what people thought about her being a performer whose admirer were females; her greatest fear was being labeled a “tom”. A term used for lesbians and transvestites. 
Her desire for normality overshadowed her desire for Nan.

Astonished by Kitty's rejection, Nan wanders the street as a man. She’s solicited by men who thought she was a man; however she never let them know she was a woman.  I found this part of the series very disturbing.

However, still impersonating a man, she (Nan) called herself Neville, she is attacked one night and a woman named Florence rescued her. But, before the two are acquainted, Nan is hired by a wealthy widow, Diana to be her sexual property. 
Nan becomes an object to Diana and her rich friends; she’s dressed in finest men’s clothes and solicited for entertainment.  Nan sexual identity crisis peaked as she attained the highest point of status; that is being male, upper class and handsome it’s the rank she wished to reach. After years of being a virtual sex slave, Diana threw her out.

Nan goes in search of Florence, they began an affair where she promised to live as a girl which proved to be challenging. She also faced the challenge of class, culture and desire. 

By chance Kitty noticed Nan and asked her to return so they can continue their secret relationship but Nan turns Kitty away and stays with Florence after realizing how much shame she felt because Kitty thought she was too much of a boy for her and her reputation was first priority, Nan also realized how much of herself was compromised during their relationship.

Tipping the velvet- a Victorian euphemism for cunnilingus.

source: http://www.bbc.co.uk/drama/tippingthevelvet/

The selfishness of being a lesbian...

GOOGLE IMAGE

My life is split unevenly. I have two sets stories but all I truly want is one that I can fix into without compromising everything else. Most of the time I feel excluded, maybe it’s by choice because socially I am not quite sure how to fit in.

Even now that I had to do this project for the collaboration component I’m viewing everyone’s working and nothing connects, or seems applicable to the topic of lesbianism. I must admit I feel self-conscious to even ask.

This weekend I listened to Kerry Washington’s speech at the 26^th annual GLAAD award and it touched me. While she spoke about exclusion in the media LBGT person I thought about the aspect of my life that I hide because of my own omission not being certain where to place myself.

I seem perpetually single at work not by choice. It’s because of the complexity of having to explain I’m gay I rather not divulge into my sexuality.

Appearing perpetually single to male coworkers is tiresome always having to refuse an invitation to be taken out. There is one time I found out there was a bet in the office to “see” who can get me first. Very mature; I thought only high-schoolers did that. There are maybe only two coworkers who have my phone number.

There’s one male I thought was very handsome. Being a lesbian doesn’t mean I’m blind to men I will give credit where it’s due. We chat anytime of the day or night;  his friendship means alot. He is the sweetest, easiest person to talk to and he’s not effeminate.  
He eventually expressed his interest and I destroyed those sentiments quite immediately by saying, the things that intrigued him about women I am interested in as well. Right off the bat his next message was my girlfriend always wanted to have an experience with a girl, do you want her number? Of course I do; I have nothing better to do than entertain someone’s inquisitiveness. I took the number and as suspected her curiosity was because he wants her to be. I wished them luck with that as I’m not into the business of subjecting myself to the anguish of being with a man to conceal my lesbianism. However, I remained friends with him because like I said he’s a good listener.

My boss and I have a practically close bond; she’s constantly discussing her home life; her husband and children. I never mentioned anyone to her so I am the loneliness person she has ever met. She would inquire, who am I with or ask what I thought of “this person” and “that person” I would say I don’t like anyone here. Her opinion of me; I am strange, sly and secretive.

As we sat and have lunch a Friday afternoon I said to her I have something to tell her.  I gave her my phone to read my messages. The messages were intimate conversations and immediately she aligned it to being associated with a man. While she smiled and read I said, “Those are from a woman.”

She said, “But this sounds like you are in a relationship with this person.”

“We are.”

Instantly she said she doesn’t tolerate “that kind of thing” and if I was hurt by a man the best thing to do is stay by myself and not engage in that lifestyle and I am selfish I should be with a man, procreate and get married in that order. Becoming a lesbian is what selfish women do!

There is no contribution to the plan designed for mankind; a woman is life.

What can a woman do for you?

There were so many ways I can have answered this question but I did the selfish thing and kept the answer to myself. The next day she apologized; yet still maintained my “choice” was a self-centered one, she would rather I not live “that life”.

Image taken from Google

The only selfish life I have is the one where I am in a relationship with someone for three years and keeping it a secret. Being selfish is attending family gatherings; while everyone is there with their children and significant other, I am miserable the entire time being a commentator to everything that's taking place to the person on the other end of the phone since they too are living a life in the shadows. That is a “choice”. 
It's not being cowardice, it's self-preservation and that's what makes me selfish. My life is split disproportionately to give the impression that I am world’s definition of normal. When in reality ignorance is bliss; and anything that's worth anything, doesn't comes only in black and white.

Book...Sex, sexual fluidity and love...choose wisely!

Image taken from Google

This book is not for everyone. It will shock you and at some point make you wished you could have slapped all the characters. 

I have always been a fan of Eric Jerome Dickey’s because of the way he expresses a woman’s thoughts, intuitions, feelings and scorn accurately.  Having read books surrounding the theme of lesbianism this book helped me figure out some of the issues I was dealing with before I accepted my sexuality. I read between the lines. The confusion of acceptance of one’s sexuality is always difficult. 

Being in love with a woman and not being certain how to express that love sometimes engage in behaviors that you hope will bring about inevitability.

The story is narrated from the view point of the male character. Between lovers is the story of  a woman who left her fiance at the altar because she was unsure of her sexuality, she returns seven years later and is still indecisive but this time she’s not sure if she wants to be with the woman she left him for.

In order to truly “figure” herself out, the protagonist Nicole prearranged a threesome between ex fiance, the narrator and girlfriend, Ayanna.

As the story develops, the selfishness and self-absorption of everything Nicole says and does take center stage, all her decisions were designed to seek her self-interest. She controlled the narrator emotions; the way he should feel about her and the way he should feel about her girlfriend.  Nicole is egotistical for the very begin.

The story unfolds quickly and I can’t help but be drawn into Nicole's struggle with her sexuality and the complexity of denying what you feel and what you know to appease others. But I'm not drawn into her self pity as she blamed the narrator for awakening her inner lesbian because he paid a random stripper to dance with her on a vacation in Paris years ago. She blamed him for freeing her inhibitions. Yea, you are gay because a woman gyrated on you.

I loathed Nicole for using her sexuality as an excuse to take advance of the people who loved her. I don’t believe in that whole fluid theory of sexuality. I felt really sorry for the narrator and Nicole’s girlfriend; they were just puppets in Nicole’s party.

Somehow I identified with all the characters. In one chapter I find myself being compassionate then by the next chapter I hated them all; the stories plays on your emotions. There is tension and competitiveness. 

In some chapters I wished the narrator will gets over his feelings for Nicole and move on with his life, come on it’s been seven years, she left you at the altar isn’t that enough embarrassment?  And the girlfriend; she was brainwashed and being taken advance of.  I liked the headstrong professionalism of the girlfriend's character; she seems strong yet fragile. Everyone needed to leave each other alone because hurting people to satisfy egotism is never the right thing to do.

No one can control human emotions and sexuality.

As the fight for Nicole between the narrator and the girlfriend intensified; the truth is revealed Nicole and her girlfriend was not just "girlfriends or lovers", they were married! 

This was one of the shocking and angrier moments reading this book. Who the hell gets their wife to agree to something so contemptible! This is where sexual fluidity sets in I guess. Again,you can’t manipulate people's feelings while you figure out yours. Aspect of this book is the very reason why lesbianism is not taken seriously and also why lesbian believe bisexual women will choose a man over them. 

Luckily since the idea brought confusion the threesome never happened and it’s a good thing.

The end of the book was a shocker just when the entire story comes crushing down and everyone’s heart is broken, and hatred and corruption was exploring; and as the race for Nicole quickly became a lose-lose situation, the final test presented itself; Nicole is knocked down by car.

Both the narrator and Nicole’s girlfriend stayed by her side through the ordeal, while at the hospital they bonded and I thought finally they all came to their senses but there you saw who still wanted to preserve their relationship with Nicole.

In the end guess who won…if you guess Nicole’s wife that’s right, that rainbow flag was raise high on the rooftop.

Like I said Between Lovers is not for everyone but all in all it’s entertaining and a good read.

Movie- Loving Annabelle

“Do I make you nervous?”

Most times when we hear about teacher-student relationships and the words that usually comes out everyone’s mouth is “It’s not right”. I agree it’s not. But have anyone ever thought a student can prey on a teacher’s vulnerability. And that is exactly what Annabelle did.

Loving Annabelle can easily fall into the category of the typical catholic school theme story. Annabelle, the “bad girl” needs to be reformed and her teacher Simone had the unfortunate task of dealing with her teenage rebellion.

I would be lying if I said I hated this movie and that I didn’t overlooked the fact that the teacher-student relationship is not a good example. I love this movie

This was the second lesbian movie I saw because of the theme songs All over me  and Gravity me that a very sweet young lady left in my inbox.

The characters in the movie are relatable. I empathize with Simone’s character, she’s meek and repressed. She clearly needs some type of therapy because there are a lot of things going on with her. Then there is Annabelle, who challenges everything. I appreciated that Simone resisted Annabelle’s advances. Simone’s focus was on aiding Annabelle re-think her eccentric behavior.

Annabelle’s character was not as rebellious as they like us to think.

Simone had boundaries and followed all the rules, she pointed them to Annabelle. But not by saying you are my student or portraying any forceful authority. I thought Simone’s delivery and demeanor was fragile especially when she said, “I can’t do this.”

But that’s what I love about the movie.

The fact that Simone is a closeted lesbian was irrelevant. It was only relevant for us to see where her repression came from but irrelevant because we saw that she was always professional. When you know better you do better.

Google Image

Annabelle pushed her buttons, the scene in Simone’s room when Annabelle touched and said “Do I make you nervous”, the flowers she sent to her in class with the notes and the moment at the beach Simone resisted every advance. After the scene at the beach Simone finally stop socializing with Annabelle. It’s about boundaries and respecting people’s space and a little of bit sexual harassment.

Annabelle’s classmate and roommates saw her attraction for Simone and heckles her about it she becomes frustrated and fought with one of the girls.

Simone’s aunt is a bitch, sorry to say. Something about her is incestuous, Simone facial expression and body language says it all she makes her very uncomfortable.

We endure an entire movie with no real physical connection between Annabelle and Simone just a lot of sexual tension. Until the night of the school dance when Annabelle mounted the stage and sang “All of me” that was the straw that broke the camel’s back Simone’s guards were let down. Finally the love scene! But it was short lived as another troubled student Katrine ruins it for everyone by intentionally mentioning to Simone’s aunt Annabelle did not come back to the dorm after the dance and she suspected Annabelle spent the night with Simone. They are caught as they hurriedly dressed and just like that the movie is over and the police are taking Simone away.

Moral of the story don’t let your student lead you into temptation because there will be a jail cell waiting for you.

At the end of the movie I felt cheated; Simone tried tirelessly to do the right but Annabelle’s persistence weakened her. And what does Annabelle get out of it, her teenage heart broken.  Loving Annabelle is a cult lesbian movie you can watch it over and over and never get tired of it.