Is it real or a fantasy?

Lesbianism, in its simple form, is the homosexuality of women.

When it comes to women expressing sexual and romantic desires towards another woman from my observance men perceive it as something erotic, exotic and fascinating. Lesbians are the prey to heterosexual men fantasies. 

For most lesbianism is not taken seriously. The moment a woman reveals she’s interested in women it seems as though a light bulb comes on in a man's head. Men hardly believe women can be homosexuals, and also that a woman could not be attracted to men.

They find reasons to justify why lesbianism is not genuine.

 First being, a girl who grew up only in the company of other girls will most likely be attracted to women and not men. As a child gender roles were not properly assigned and on the other hand, women who were abused and hurt by men tend to be lesbians for comfort. While a friend of mine strongly believe lesbians are women who did not developed womanly; that is, small breasted, unshapely or have other insecurities about her body and prefer to be with women.

 If this is so, where does the attraction come from?

I think the media plays a significant role in the depiction of lesbians as flaky and inconsistent with their sexual preference. Lesbianism is viewed as experimental where straight women have sexual rendezvous with other women for entertainment. Whereas gay men are taken seriously because heterosexual men have real fears about them.

However, not all representation of lesbianism in the media is false there are some really good movies and TV shows which are quite accurate. I will divulge into these in a later post.

No is difficult to hear or men are not good at hearing no. Persistence can be annoying. There will never be the right phrase or action to persuade a woman to automatically give in.  When that fail to work nine out of ten times men spur the involuntarily question which they hope will bring results, “My girlfriend is interested in inviting another woman into the bedroom would you be interested?”

Really, as though your “girlfriend” is ultimate accolade.

Contrary to popular belief, not because a woman is attracted to women means she’s attracted to all women. Straight women, not because a woman is attracted to women means she’s attracted to you, so there’s no need for the awkwardness.

What bothers me is that women’s sexuality is seen as being dependent on men and their genitals with no autonomy or preferences. The real danger that lies in identifying as a lesbian is not discrimination which is expected but the male's ego. Rejection is never an easy thing for some. There are those who will walk away, there are those who see it acceptable to sexual harass and assault a woman if she does not respond and comply with advances. I have seen it all firsthand. After which the guilt card is played, Do you know what God thinks about your wicked lifestyle? Of course, seven years in a Catholic school is all it takes to instill fear into anyone.

But how do you deny who you are? You don't!

Lesbianism is not erotic, it’s not a fantasy and I am sure it’s not a disease. It’s a sexual orientation and does not define who you are as a person. It should be respected and taken seriously.