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Not that it's not important too many people but there is no urgency in me to come out to anyone not family, friends, no one; I live accordingly.
So I was told I was living in denial. Okay.
There was this one time that my mother asked me if I was gay and I looked at her like she was craziest person on the face of the earth and plainly said no.
She never asked again. But according to my very straight best friends, my mother already knows and is only awaiting confirmation.
Should I or should I not tell her the truth? Does it even matter?
At that time I lived at home and I was probably scared of what could have happened but now that I am on my own I don’t think I really need to verify that information.
Do I need to come out?
For many people coming out has to do with the opinions of those around them. Most of the stress surrounding coming out is the reaction of those around you.
So to a person becoming open with their sexuality or gender, it is a life altering decision and I do applaud and respect those that made that brave and bold decision to claim their sexuality.
For some coming out means living freely and easier because of the new found acceptance and visibility.
While this is true, I think self acceptance is sufficient; your personal relationship shouldn’t need any justification. Approval isn’t needed.
Coming out can mean disapproval from the same family and friends you want so desperately to accept you. Not everyone is lucky to have the support of family as many gay people are disowned by their families after they do. Sometimes “coming out” put you at risk of being discriminated against and abused. What should you do live your life to please others?
The fact of the matter is we live in a heterosexual society; this can not be ignored. When you see a person on the street, the last thing you would consider is their sexuality. I guess it’s the habitual labeling of sexualities that makes coming out necessary to differentiate from the majority.
I see both sides of the picture here. This might be a flawed comparison, but I experience a lot of this as an atheist. It's something I tend to keep quiet about or sidestep because it usually causes nothing but ill-will from people. At the same time, it's not something I would deny. I'd feel like I was betraying myself if I did.
ReplyDeleteSpirituality is nowhere as touchy a subject as sexuality, though. Part of me feels like you have an obligation to stand up and represent in some way, K. Drew...but another, more practical part says you should just do what makes you happy.
Interesting, I enjoyed this, you do what you feel is best. At the end of the day, K.Drew it's your life, no one could tell you how to live it, so long as you enjoy your life I don't think anyone's opinion should matter. There would always be critiques no matter what you do, and if just saying ....you do decide to make your sexuality public and the ones closest to you whom you value their opinions and support decide to disown you may acquire a new support group from new friends that share the same sexuality as you do. It's a tough decision, but you know best.
ReplyDeleteThis is a debate that might rage on for decades. I think the main point here is that people feel a compulsive need for society's acceptance of them, which is why there is an emphasis on "coming out". But society as a whole has not yet gained the maturity to allow this to happen. T&T's society in particular has resisted this evolution, where equal opportunities are exclusively defined by race but never sexual orientation.
ReplyDeleteIn the end, I have to agree that there is no blanket cure for this. You need to do what you think is best for you to maintain your happiness and allow you to enjoy life.Because, ultimately, what you think of yourself matters the most.