Lesbians and labels, they are not only for clothes!

First off let me say I am perfectly fine not identifying with any labels.  I know  saying this I can literally have my head eaten off for not choosing or standing up because of the ambiguous nature of the topic in the lesbian community. Every label has positive and negative images and clichés associated with it.

Labels should not serve as rigid or set rules of expressing how and what we feel and desire.

Some of the most recognized lesbian labels are stud, femme, butch, stems and of course no label.

Identifying as no label means not falling into the stereotypical categories of fem,stud or butch. No labels usually doesn't give off any traditional signs or signals that they are in fact gay.

Image taken from Google.
This is the expectation of what a lesbian couple
should look like "stud" and "femme"

Are labels necessary in the lesbian community?

“I think they are useless"

“I think that labeling ourselves is a way for heterosexual to feel comfortable with our sexuality.  It’s easier to accept us if they put us in some kind of expectation of the way we look and act I don’t think it’s necessary.”

“I am a woman who loves women and that is my two cents on the topic”

“LABELS ARE VERY RESTRICTIVE, get to know ME, don’t pry for a label and then try to decide how you want to relate to me. I dislike "boxes" I find them to be quite claustrophobic so to speak”

Having a label for some makes it easier to relate to certain lesbian groups but not everyone can associate with a particular group.

There are lesbians who believe labels are very important as it gives a sort of social identity and distinguish them from the different subcultures in the community.
Some believe very strongly that attaching a label to who you are makes their behaviour and who they have relationships with more substantial.

This is a personal conversation
I had with a woman
who identifies as a "stem"

Taken from Google image.
Stud for stud is frown upon
this is from my observation

I have attached some extracts from a conversation with a woman who identifies as a stem. Maybe she does have a point to her argument but I do believe that placing a label to yourself is a restriction. It says you are expected to be with a certain individual.

I believe this is the reason why "stud for femme" "femme for femme" are seen as the only acceptable lesbian relationships in the eyes of heterosexual and even some lesbians.

The minute people sees a "stud for stud" or butch for butch" couple they are turned off by it because by placing labels we are saying what is acceptable and what is not, when truly it should not even matter.

Extracts from a conversation with
a female who identifies as a "stem"

As lesbians we already have to explain the complexity of our sexual orientation, why is there a need to also fall into a category and add another label to who we are, saying you are a woman who love women is no longer satisfactory.

I understand that some lesbians only date certain "groups" and I respect that but we are only boxing ourselves in with all these labels. Labels comes with the weight of the world because there are criteria to follow on the way we act, dress and socialize.

So labels are they necessary? For me no, but to each his/her own if there is a need to identify with a particular setting. Be who you are; if dressing like a boy is comfortable nothing is wrong with that, speak and love who you want because at the end of the day we are all just women.