Collaboration- Relationship Rules

Rules are everywhere, at work, school, at home and in the wider society. Some we follow, some we break. When it pertain a relationship rules creates a merger of two person’s culture and nature. Most rules are unspoken yet they define what is considered as acceptable and unacceptable. It influence how well we relate to our partner, how well you we handle intimacy, deal with emotions and react to conflict or misunderstandings There are fundamental rules to follow always communicate and be honest.  Many times people don’t know how to distinguish the past and carry ill feelings from previous relationships into current ones which hinders an individual ability to progressive into new, healthy and worthwhile relationships.

Take from Google images

I asked my classmate and blogger of Relationship Rules Dominique Fernandes what are some reasons that cause relationships to fail besides lack of trust, infidelity, communication, abuse and financial woes being the main culprits of sabotage. Her response was lying, the fact that persons lose their individuality when they enter a relationship and sometimes persons just get bored and lack interest in continuing a relationship.

Source Google images

Another reason relationships fail is the difference in desires and goals. If one or both partners are not in tune with the other it is difficult to build better relationships as one person will always be "out of the loop" with the other, this doesn’t strengthen the bond that couples are supposed to be building.

In relations to my blog context, a  same sex relationship, namely woman to woman although the reasons highlighted above are key players in the failure of any personal union, there are a few I have aligned specifically to lesbian relationships.

Source- Google images

The impulsivity of commitment; lesbians tend to rush into relationships too quickly, without taking time to resolve their last relationship like they are always on the prowl for a romanticized fix.

Being too needy, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with your partner all the time but sometimes all that closeness is suffocating, sometimes you lose yourself in the person which is damaging.

Overly emotional, since communication is superb we have a propensity to react to small things too quickly; sometimes you just don’t want to talk about it. Not wanting to talk initiates rapid questions, Are you okay? What are you thinking? How do you feel? Are you mad at me? Why are you in a mood? What is your problem? Are you going to cry?  Did something happen? Are you sad? Expect to be asked are you okay and are you mad at me repeatedly. Every decision is processed overbearingly. Every feeling is analyzed and every emotion is scrutinized too lengths. Fights are antagonistic silence or provoking pointless arguments.

Pressure of homophobia within one self; especially if you are in a relationship with an individual who’s not open about their sexuality, who repeatedly denies the existence of the relationship, this will often leave a partner feeling hurt, insecure, and unloved. The pressure of homophobia is based on fear and uncertainty.

Whether it is a heterosexual or same sex affair, we don't getting into relationships with the intention of it failing but they often do for many different reasons. Relationships can last a long time once there is mutual understanding, respect and patience. 

You don’t need to lose yourself in someone else’s identity; be open, communicate your wants and desires. The key is to figure out how to solve the problems in your relationship and mend it.

For more tips on relationships visit Relationship Rules.